i think my mom watched the whole time
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
