So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
So squirting runs in the family.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
