Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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