I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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