Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
