I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize