I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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