It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
