plz talk dirty to me
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
