I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
