I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
