yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
