If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
