Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
