I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
