how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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