We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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