just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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