You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
