its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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