I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
