But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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