....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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