ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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