Moan for me like Helen Keller
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
