do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
