i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
