Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
