I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I love having hate sex.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Randomize
