yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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