Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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