just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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