It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
