I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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