ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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