Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
