i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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