Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just found puke in my bra..
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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