Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
