My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
