he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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