Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
