Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize