dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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