What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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