How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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