im having a threesome with these popsicles
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
