yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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