Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
