is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
sex in a hospital.. check
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
