Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize