You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
