I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
