Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
