I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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