Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
