i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
