So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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