if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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