WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
