GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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